“How to Be a Bawse” by Lilly Singh

I admire you, Lilly Singh. You walk your name, Superwoman, well. You truly know How to Be a Bawse. As a direct result of reading your book I know 100% my life will be, is, different going forward. You spoke to me in the form of a picture book for adults. (Not that kind of adult.) I didn’t even know that’s what I needed to light a fire under my butt. I am not aware of everything you do, but I do know you do a lot and you got there by doing a lot. And you are one of the few out there who knows every human being has the capability to be a bawse, but not every human being is willing to put in the work to be a bawse. To fix this problem, you wrote a book, knowing full well that to some, reading a book from start to finish can be intimidating.

I’m sorry it took depression to get you to eventually become the kickass woman you are today, but I’m glad it made you appreciate colors in a whole new light. Your book cover is eye-catching to say the least and every single picture in the book grabbed my attention as well. Your 50 short chapters about 2-3 pages each divided the book up in parts that made it a breeze to get through, absolutely perfect for the A.D.D. mind. It is a book that avid readers can most certainly enjoy, but also one where if someone was not into reading, they would find it easy to follow and get through and not feel like reading is a chore. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if your book turned non-readers into avid readers.

Your comedic personality shines through and I am so glad you can back up every single truth bomb with an example or story from one of your many life experiences. You are without a doubt a funny motivational speaker as well. Every single chapter is relatable in some way and there is a lesson to be learned within each chapter. You cover just about every aspect of life from how to think to how to feel to how to talk to your parents to how to set deadlines to how to learn and grow from a break-up to how to drink water to how to be a good friend to how to invest in yourself to how to hustle harder. I mean I could go on and on, but you leave no stone unturned. Best of all, you do all this efficiently.

To top it all off, you give God the glory for all your success. You remind everyone that no matter what they believe in, even if it wasn’t God, there is something out there bigger than them that can give and can taketh away. I admire you, Lilly Singh. Like a Shakespearean sonnet. You are not only a bawse and show exactly how you got there, but you GET IT. Zoop!


Make It Count

I am grateful for this pandemic. There. I said it. The one thing I never thought I’d hear myself say. For one thing, it has shown how truly fragile life is, just in case you didn’t already hear “life is short” a million times while growing up. For another, it has forced many of us to slow down, stop, and deeply analyze our lives. From. Every. Angle. It’s kind of like taking a good selfie. Kind of. There are big questions to ponder like who are my real friends? Am I doing what I really love or could I work towards doing something I truly love even more? But I think the biggest one is what happens after I go? Knowing that there is a possibility that your life may end sooner than you would like or thought forces you to think about what happens after you’re gone from this world. For some that brings joy and for others that thought is scary. Let’s not focus on that for a second though. Let’s focus on the living moment. You know how when you drink water you are helping your body eliminate toxins? I feel like this pandemic helped me to detox my life. I have thought about the kind of friend I want to be and the kind of friend I want to keep. As a result I have cut some friends out and re-connected with the ones I believe are worth having in my life. I have thought about everything I drink and eat. As a result I am kinder to my digestive system rather than abusing it. I have thought about getting over FOMO. As a result I have chosen hustling more over going out. I have many more examples, but my point is none of this would have happened so quickly for me if I hadn’t been forced to slow down due to this pandemic. So maybe I’m not necessarily grateful for this pandemic so much as I am grateful to be alive, to know that each day I get to open my eyes and get up is one more day I get the chance to become a better version of myself for the people around me.



It’s time to taste the wasabi. Get things moving along, motivated by the sting of spicy that burns. Bambi’s father wants you to get up off the ground before the fire chases you down. You are faster than this. Mufasa knew you are more than what you have become. You are better than this. Shang needs you to get down to business to defeat the Huns. You are stronger than this.

It’s time to taste the wasabi. Try something new. Be daring. Be bold. Be brave. Not yolo brave. Not that foolishness. That kind of brave will only get you into more trouble. You don’t want no beef. With anyone. Or anything. Make Mark Twain proud if he is the one who said that famous quote that everyone attributes to him or Abraham Lincoln. Spoiler alert: neither one said that quote.

It’s time to taste the wasabi. The taste has been acquired. You can let gravity do the work now and take you down the other side of the hill. You are almost there. The band aid can come off now. No squirrels in sight. The last rose petal has fallen just as Belle is able to turn you back into who you really are. Finally get that haircut and leave the tower that has held you back from living. The shoe fits and it has never felt better to be yourself again.


Casey’s pizza

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but I just had some really good pizza and I want to share. I finally tried Casey’s pizza. I say finally because it’s been a few years now since I’ve heard on repeat that Casey’s pizza is really good from co-workers and friends. I can’t tell you why I haven’t tried it out until now, but I can tell you what made me suddenly pick it up this weekend.

Casey’s pizza is gas station pizza. You wouldn’t expect pizza that you can pick up from a gas station to taste so good, but one of my co-workers from a while ago was right. This pizza, seemingly more simple than the ones you can get at Pizza Hut or Domino’s or Papa John’s, actually tastes not only better, but pretty good. I hate to say this, but I went in with low expectations since experiences usually turn out better when I do that and when I did, the pizza turned out to taste a lot better than I thought it would. I’m always afraid of the overhype. Too many “it’s so good” comments turns me off once I really try whatever is “so good.”

First of all, whenever I order a pizza, or anything, for that matter, I make sure I get meat. I got the sausage pizza and it actually costs more if you wanted a veggie pizza. Most pizza places charge a base price and then $1.00 or so more for every extra topping that you want. Casey’s charges $11.99 for a base price and that’s cheaper than those chain places I just named. When I showed up to pick up my pizza, there was a lady making it by hand. The box says the dough is made from scratch and the mozzarella cheese used is made from whole milk. I believe it. This makes the difference in taste as compared to other pizzas I have tried in the U.S. I like this one better than even Costco’s pizza, which I had originally ranked the highest that I have had so far in the U.S.

Getting me to try this pizza is all in how you sell it to me. The last person I talked to about this pizza was just a couple of weeks ago who also happened to be a co-worker and this particular co-worker got me to try it because of two reasons. One, I’ve tried something else this co-worker recommended and it turned out really well. Two, this co-worker is in sales. That’s what it took to get me to try and I’m certain I will be going back for more. Casey’s is a cheaper alternative that tastes better. It’s a no-brainer for me whenever I have a pizza craving.  


“Circe” by Madeline Miller

Madeline Miller is my new favorite author. She makes me want to take a Classics class. I don’t even know what that class is officially called, but anything that has to do with Greek gods and I am in. From Circe I have learned the Greek gods are more like humans than we can imagine, but things like kindness and friendship is not something they are familiar with. And I hate to say this, but I think I have more in common with Circe than I’d like to admit because of who she is and what happens to her.

Getting exiled to an island due to transforming your sister into a six-headed monster is not my idea of a good time, but as a crazy writer introvert, I can relate to her life on the island in a weird way. Ever since my pre-teens I have dreamed of being on an island with no rules and being able to bring anyone on it as I like and if I had a boyfriend, do anything with him that I wanted and anything he wanted. Circe may be considered a witch, but there must be something therapeutic in working on her potions and spells and using different herbs and such like I find in writing or reading. She fell in love with the wrong man at the beginning of her journey and that caused her to not desire a commitment. I can understand that.

When men came to her island to rape her, she started turning all of them into what they are: pigs. While I cannot relate to that, I can understand why she would want to do that. In a world where women were devalued and not in control of anything, Circe was able to take control of her own life on her island and even find peace in being alone. She knew in her exile that she must still find a way to make things right with Scylla, her sister she turned into a monster, which is why she went in the end to find her. Things did not turn out the way she wanted, but she found the understanding she craved in Telemachus, Penelope’s son with Odysseus.

I admire Circe for her strength and independence. She may not do everything right, but she knew how to make the best of every situation throughout all her wild adventures. She also didn’t get everything she wanted, but she did get the understanding she desperately needed in the end. Isn’t that all we are ever asking for?


Deep Thoughts #8: Banksia Bakehouse

September 15, 2018 – Nerdy 30s Ladies of KC – I went into this thinking I was going to get your typical café experience: one where you order a latte and a pastry and then sit down to a nice conversation with your friends. I was not prepared for what actually happened that day.

I saw some familiar faces, but I met many new ladies as well. One stood out in particular for her strong-willed nature. I admired her strength when it comes to making big life decisions in the realm of changing careers. I think personalities like this makes me feel motivated in my life to go for it in situations where I’m a little more scared or hesitant to put one foot in front of the other. I like this kind of inspiration, the kind that pushes me.

I can’t remember what kind of doctored up coffee drink I got, but I do remember the kangaroo meat I tried. I definitely did not wake up that morning thinking I would try an Australian delicacy. But while ordering my drink, here it was in the window, enticing me to try it. So I did. And boy did it taste gamy. I will never have it again I’m sure, but at least I have given it a try. I wonder if it basically tastes like deer meat? I guess there’s only one way to find out…


you can’t always get what you want

Dear Heart,

Please stop liking unavailable guys. You are not quite ready for the intensity of a long-term truly committed relationship even though you think you are. I know you want to be, but right now just isn’t the time for it. You are fully capable of liking someone to the fullest of your capability so that’s why it’s dangerous for you to like the wrong guy. He may seem like the perfect guy for you, but he is not really if he’s unavailable. Liking him will only put you in an emotional attachment state you can’t get out of for an unknown length of time because you are the kind of girl who loves to a fault. You would give 110% of yourself into the relationship no matter who he turned out to be and that’s just not fair to yourself if you are putting in effort when the guy is unavailable. I know you don’t do that on purpose, but it happens as soon as you get into a state of emotional attachment. It’s like you meet one and as soon as you start talking to him he casts a spell on you. You end up continuing these talks until you can’t break the spell. This goes on until one day he breaks you. Even then the spell isn’t broken, just you are and you leave the pieces for me to put back together again. I know you need me, so I’m just asking you to stay away from the unavailable ones. I promise one day when you meet the right one for you, everything will come effortlessly. You will put in the effort and it will be reciprocated. He won’t leave you and he’ll be faithful to you. He won’t take you for granted and he’ll give you 110% back. Until then, don’t get emotionally involved. At all. Don’t beat faster when he’s around. Don’t get excited when he starts conversations with you. Don’t look into his eyes while talking to him and sense a connection when all he’s doing is talking to you. Don’t make me have fake conversations with him when he’s not around. In fact, don’t make me think about him when he’s not around. I know I say these things to you and you are only half listening. But that is why you have me here – to help you get through this mess you can only explain in a Rolling Stones song.




last one

If I had to pick a final meal before getting a lethal injection I bet I would find it somewhere lost in my couch. Maybe it’ll be a piece of steak with a side of broccoli and a glass of sweet tea. I’ll need that steak cut up into very chewable pieces thank you very much. Wouldn’t want to choke to death before being put to death. Maybe it’ll be a gigantic buffalo chicken sandwich with a loaded baked potato and a glass of sweet tea. I know exactly where to find that and it’s definitely not in my couch. Or maybe it’ll be a homemade pasta in pomodoro sauce with exactly three beef meatballs, grated parmesan and olive oil drizzled on top. Or I’ll have rib and lotus root stew with a side of rib and seaweed stew and a plate of shredded spicy vinegar potatoes. Or how about some Kraft mac and cheese.

Obviously I can’t decide, but I do know my very last meal would be super delicious and most likely include meat and a glass of sweet tea. And it would be really nifty if I could literally find it lost in my couch somewhere. A girl can dream.


the things you think at night

“Lights out at 10.” It’s been a long time since that’s happened. It’s my own fault really. I’d like it to be truly exactly 10:00 p.m. when I go to bed each night, especially on the weeknights, but it just doesn’t happen even though I know better. The problem is the alarm on my phone. I need it to wake me up because I haven’t gotten used to the alarm on my clock. You see, the time on my clock is a little faster than the accurate time on my phone so I don’t want to set an alarm on my clock. I end up relying on the alarm on my phone so I bring my phone to bed with me. That is a black hole of time right there when I should be catching some zzzz’s. I have this habit of checking my e-mails one last time, clearing out the junk folders, checking Twitter, and then heading over to YouTube to find a video that answers the question of the meaning of life. That usually include things like I wonder what avocado-based ice cream tastes like? Tom Brady likes that stuff and he is the master at keeping his body in shape so I must try that. I wonder what it would be like to be an emperor’s concubine? I don’t know if I could handle the pressures of being an emperor’s first wife. Man, God wouldn’t like to me have these thoughts! But it’s a part of my people’s history. I can’t just ignore it! I wonder if a crop top will go well with my new pants? Where would I wear a crop top anyway? I really need to find a better way to practice some of those high notes. I’ve got to stop being afraid of 5th position and beyond. I wonder if I could get the recipe for chocolate chip pancakes. There’s got to be some way to consume all those extra leftover chips.

I don’t even know why I do it as I’m pretty sure no YouTube video is ever going to answer that question for me, but it’s like I have to procrastinate sleeping so I can delay waking up so I can delay starting another work day or chore day, as if I can intentionally pause time before I start the next “hard” thing to do on my neverending list. Time moves on with or without me and I know this, yet I can’t resist the vampire apps on my phone. I must be insane because every time I do this, I know I’m going to have a hard time waking up on time and I’m going to be tired all day and find it hard to concentrate on anything I am working on. Yet I do it anyway. I don’t like the sleep-deprived feeling, yet it’s like I’m addicted to it. What I really need to do is go back to relying on the alarm on my clock and turn off all alarms on my phone. I may be up a little earlier than I had planned, but at least it’ll mean I won’t let my phone apps suck all my time away. A girl needs her beauty sleep or she’ll wake up a beast.