I do this thing where I’ll be doing something and then my brain, like thought vomit (I like how we add vomit at the end of words ever since Mean Girls came out in 2004 and coined the phrase ‘word vomit’), will bring up old, embarrassing memories as soon as I hear a word or phrase or something that reminds me of that moment. It’s not just random memories. It’s always the embarrassing ones that make me cringe and I’ll start burning up again like it’s happening and someone is pointing and laughing.
Then I lose my place for a second and I am forced to think about this embarrassing moment from my past for a few minutes. I feel embarrassed all over again and sometimes this “second time embarrassment” makes me angry. I may uncontrollably exclaim something and then immediately want to cover my mouth (especially if I do this in public). I can’t seem to stop this thought vomit either. I just know that I don’t like it.