I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll start with last three-day weekend, I went to a writers’ workshop that changed my life.
If you haven’t heard of Matthew Murrie, get on it! He is an English professor at Westminster College, a ‘What If’ edupreneur, co-author of several Scholastic nonfiction science books and other roles as well I’m sure. He is easy to talk to and I’m glad I didn’t exhaust him with all my curious questions about writing. 🙂 I think that’s the core of his success–his simple desire to help people. Which brings me to the second person I met that changed my life.
Hilde Seevers is a Creative Consultant who not only helps people write, but basically acts as a life guide to help them achieve whatever they have been wanting to achieve for a long time simply by changing the way they think. She sold her car and now walks everywhere. I admire anyone who has that much faith in herself. Along with Matthew Murrie, she has certainly changed my whole perspective on things and together they made me see that if I want to be a full-time writer, I can do it! Of course it is up to me and getting out of my head so I can get unstuck from where I am now.
Fear is what’s been holding me back and I’m going to let it go. I’m going to stop letting it get to me. It’s a new year and it’s going to be a year without fear. As for what the advice they shared with me, you’ll have to check them out for yourself or you can follow along as I write about my process to finding my happy ending.
I’ve never thought of myself as a rechargeable battery, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything.
When you wake up in the morning, after a good night’s sleep, you are fully recharged. But then one by one the energy vampires come knocking. They suck time. They are anything and anyone who suck energy you need to get through the day. They do this without you noticing, and not in a “time flies while you’re having fun” kind of way either. That girl friend who just can’t stop whining to you about the same problems over and over even though you’ve been there for her over and over, given your two cents and she still hasn’t made a change. That computer game you just can’t quit playing. That TV show marathon you can’t stay away from. At some point you have to decide how you’re going to spend your energy. It can be a tough decision to make, especially for the people-pleasers. But at the end of the day, when it’s time for bed, it’s time for recharging.
There are going to be workaholic days when you can’t afford any energy vampires in your life. For example, if you have a long commute, your day is already shorter. If someone, like an old friend, were to call you after work, you’ll have to decide how long you can stay on the phone with them. Because you are bound to have to start dinner or something. And if you have friends who want to hang out after work, will you have the energy to do so? You have to make these decisions because you have to get up early for work the next day and you don’t want to feel pooped for that. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like doing something or going somewhere feeling sleepy and tired and grumpy. Basically, I don’t feel like turning into a vampire myself (eventually of the energy breed). It’s a vicious cycle isn’t it?
It all comes down to what’s important to you. Because the people you sacrifice some of that “me time” for are going to know that they matter to you. And some people who can be energy vampires one day, can be the ones who are going to sacrifice their “me time” for you on another.
I’m afraid of being vulnerable, so I’m afraid of falling in love. I’m afraid of getting close to someone and then having to say good-bye. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love in my 27.5 years of life. Today is my half birthday. And my new favorite quote is, “I’d rather be his whore than your wife.” Maybe this year I’ll finally fall in love. Who knows what could happen? ❤ 🙂
Sometimes when I’m lost and have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing “right now,” blogging is comforting. Even more so than listening to music and God knows how much I love listening to music. Blogging is an action and makes me feel like I’m “doing,” so is probably the reason why it’s more comforting.
See, the thing is, usually how it’s done is people show their feelings through “action.” Kissing, hugging, sexing. Just to name a few. I don’t. I can’t. Not that I physically can’t. I can. I just haven’t tested it out for real yet and I don’t know if I’ll ever get to. I’ve had chances, but I haven’t taken them because I’m afraid of being vulnerable. I use words. I listen to words. Sometimes I rely on words more than actions and that gets me into trouble.
“Do you want to have coffee or grab a meal some time?” It’s such a simple question, but it’s so hard to get to it. (For me at least.) Because I know that if I get to that question, I could be shot down. Or I could be accepted and then that leads to another and another acceptance and then before I know it, it’s time for a bigger commitment. Then it’s time for getting along and ugly days. I think I just don’t want to face the ugly days.
I want some warm weather. I’m tired of the cold.