I don’t know how good we are about keeping in touch with friends. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. It seems as soon as your single situation changes to married, you lose touch with your friends. Maybe you make new married couple friends, but the friends you had as a single you struggle to keep up with. They may move away because of a job or getting hitched as well. And if you’re single and suddenly losing touch with your married friends, it’s because they are now married.
If you’re married, is it appropriate to have friends of the opposite sex? Or is that just a big no-no? Should your partner be the only friend you need or do you really need to see other people on a regular basis as well? But back to keeping in touch with friends..
I’ve talked to people who still keep in touch with their friends from high school and I’ve talked to a couple people who don’t. To the people who don’t, one common thread seems to be life got busy as they went away to college and started down the career path. I guess it comes down to responsibility? The more you are responsible for, the less time you have to worry about what everybody else is up to. But what happens if you go through a rough patch and your family doesn’t provide the support you need? Is that when you turn to therapists? I can see it now. Therapist: the new adult friend.
We are not made to walk this life alone. So even if we don’t get married, I think we’ll always need friends if family is not able to be around.
I’ve been a very bad writer lately.
I haven’t been reading and writing something every day, even if just for an exercise. I’ve been eating cheesecake just because. My research has taken longer than usual. (I can’t help it. I’m a visual learner and some movies really tug at my heart.) I talk to my friends about my problems instead of write them down. It’s easier to deal with them that way. I’ve even neglected my Matthew Murrie book. (A hot pink notebook I carry around in case I get inspired by words. It was a suggestion from Matthew Murrie.) I’ve been keeping thoughts inside my skull instead of sharing them. (That could be a good thing.) And I think. I sit and think instead of write. Especially in the shower. The shower is where I get my best ideas.
That’s the stuff of songs. Part of love is to cure loneliness, but part of it is for understanding, for intimacy. To have a reason to take care of each other and each others’ needs. So what happens if you never find it? Is that even possible with so many people in the world? Maybe there are people who seek the opposite of community and go around trying to find ways to isolate themselves. I don’t know. But I do think it’s sad if someone never finds out what love is.
And it’s not just limited to people either. Animals need love too. Plants need love. If you have a plant at home, speak to it like you would a person. It’ll live healthier and longer. (It’s storming pretty bad outside as I am typing this. It usually does right after my heart gets broken. More on that later.) I’m just saying that no matter what happens in the world, everything ends up centering around love.
People like to tell love stories. People like to listen to love stories. There’s no end to this. We expect our family to stand up for us and be supportive. That’s love. We all desire to be understood, to be free to be ourselves. No inhibitions. We show love in different ways. Even in action films, there’s at least a hint of a love story when two characters get to know each other better get each others’ backs. There may be a kiss snuck in there in between all the running away from the bad guy. See? Love sneaks up on you in the most unexpected places.
If you look carefully, you just might find it before it finds you.