Over the weekend I finally realized why I have a fear of getting close to someone. Simply put, because every time you get close to someone you risk them distancing themselves from you. It’s like they learn your secrets and they don’t necessarily blast your secrets to the world or anything, but you grow closer to them because they know you so well and then one day they slowly pull away. And then all you are left with is the feeling of emptiness that you shared this part of yourself with someone and now they aren’t around anymore to share stories or do life together. That hurts. It hurts so much you shed tears over the emptiness.
And I don’t like feeling that vulnerable. Just like I don’t like crying.

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