They have always been hard to understand for you. You know you’re not the only one like this. The one time you thought it was for real (at least to you it was) and you were kicked to the curb. So then it began.
It started with a flicker and now it’s a roaring flame. Even water won’t douse it now. Because how dare anyone reject you? You know you’re nowhere near divine, but that does not give anyone the right to dismiss you for no reason.
You figure maybe it’s just that one person. So you try again.
‘Til you’re on attempt number five and you finally push the pause button for a sec. Just to see how desperate for reciprocated affection you have become. As if that is enough to validate you as a lovable human being. It’s not. And you find out too late, after everyone else already got the memo. Typical you.
“It must’ve gotten lost in the mail,” they say to assuage your bleeding heart. Whatever.
So it begins—the end of deciphering drunk texts. The beginning of incessant whatevers. A place you want to stay in, possibly forever, possibly until someone shows you nothing short of a miracle, that they are ecstatic to be with you, know exactly how you would fit into their lives, and can’t wait to start. In the moment, you just want that reaction. You can unravel all the fine print later.
when you are sure you want it back.
defer a little
Like a college kid on the brink of entering med school, getting a much-needed interlude before adulting for real.
*~Hey you, lovely person reading this.~* There’s more at Conceited Crusade, a collaborative blog I joined back in May, where my fellow Crusaders and I try to wrangle words together that make sense. Or do we? Only one way to find out…And if you like what you read, won’t you give us a Like? Every time you don’t, a fairy drops down dead!