Time and again I was told high school never ends. I finally believe it now, but it’s amazing I even graduated for real. Did that actually happen? I suspect it had something to do with my very sheltered life (thanks Mom and Dad) that made it possible. Avoid social life = avoid drama, right? Not completely, but basically, yeah.

It meant developing a late social radar. And having not a clue what it meant to be a girl. Excuse me, sir. I don’t want some oar. I don’t have a gender. I do have exist.

There are some moments when the most appropriate thing to say is, “ya no.” Seize those moments before they slip away.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go study for the SATs…


Sometimes I truly think the world would be a better place if I shut up for good; other times I see just how broken this world really is and feel so guilty if I didn’t speak up. I’m not one of those people who thinks she’s so special she could change the world. I’m just an observer who loves living vicariously through everyone else, collecting stories through my six senses that mostly don’t end up as a remixed alphabet.

Where do they end up? That’s a good question. They run marathons through my brain and the ones that keep coming back end up on the page somehow. The ones that don’t are forgotten forever like I had a nail to the head.

But there are moments when I really want someone to just know what I mean without exactly reading my mind. I think I’m better off expressing myself not through words. Maybe a little through dance and a little through random gestures. That’s about all I’m capable of.


amalgam of heavy

Do you see what I see?

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Conceited Crusade

This week’s prompt: write something that can be read in the time it takes to smoke a cigarette.

Gram by gram they each add their weight. A little salt here. A little anger over there. A little blood here. A little sass over there. Each a perspective. Each a voice that never goes completely away.

Still, the old sea turtle swims. Never against the current, always wandering, always curious of the eyes. He knows the minute he stops is the minute everything starts making sense. He doesn’t want that. No living organism does. To find order in the middle of chaos is like finding one white man in a yellow raincoat slowly making his way through a flash mob of winter coats. Eyes are not on him until after the recording is analyzed.

The leaves stay green and the basketball dribbles on, making it hard to do a layup. Without…

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I just want to look good for ya

I can’t get this song or music video out of my head. People say she has a baby face and it’s hard to take her seriously when she’s trying to look, well, the way she does in this music video. I get it. This version is missing the part by A$AP Rocky.

I like it because it’s a simple song about that exciting feeling you get when you’re putting in extra effort to “look good for ya” to someone, especially when it’s not really expected of you to act this way.