Cuando tenía…


Singing makes me feel better when I’m down. I can’t explain it. Just like I can’t explain why I’m not athletic, but I can play ping pong and practice archery (I just know play archery sounds wrong, but I don’t know what the correct verb is that goes with archery) like a pro. OK, maybe not like a pro, but you catch my drift.

When I didn’t know any better, I used to want to be good at everything so I would never be embarrassed or make a mistake doing anything. Trust me, as much as I tried to be perfect, I didn’t avoid being embarrassed or making mistakes. I guess that either proves nobody can truly be perfect or you can still be embarrassed or make mistakes even if you do everything as carefully and accurately as you possibly can. Either way this conversation makes me feel like this: o.0

This doesn’t mean I tried everything. It just means everything I did try I wanted to be perfect at it, and the sooner the better. There were some things I avoided trying at all because I figured if I never tried, there’s no way I could embarrass myself or make a mistake.

One time I took this quiz in Girls’ Life to find out what is my biggest fear and death was the last thing on my list. Failure and embarrassment were my top two. (I don’t remember what number three was.) Ha! Funny how death means a guaranteed no failure and embarrassment. Maybe that’s where the phrase, “I’d rather die than…” comes from.

But now I’m older, not necessarily wiser, and I know there’s no way to go about life avoiding failure and embarrassment altogether. The only difference is now, I just sing it all away instead of not trying.

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