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a matter of perspective

OK I just got back from the grocery store and it seems to me that America loves their eggs, meat (especially beef), bread, and pasta. But nobody cares about washing their clothes or eating candy. Some have started wearing face masks, while many more have started wearing disposable gloves. Whenever someone coughs, about 10 or so heads turn to look and those 10 or so try to move away. When the cashier asked if I found everything OK, I mention I didn’t get any chicken and he says I have to get here at 7 in the morning if I want chicken. Good to know.

I remember when I was in high school, my dad tried to tell me that I don’t want to stay a cashier in the grocery store for the rest of my life. I know what he was really trying to say: he looks down on those people because his daughter has the potential to do so much more with her life than just be a cashier. Back then I knew what he meant, but I didn’t know what he meant at the same time. Makes sense? Because what does it mean to be just a cashier? Is it because the job itself is not too complicated and anyone with some high school education can do it? Are people who go to college and beyond automatically more respectable or something? Or is it because there’s a class division that is decided by what job you have and cashier is on the low end?

Flash forward to me talking to a friend a few years ago at her house about what he said. She and I both came to the conclusion that we disagreed with my dad. I told her that the cashier in the grocery store might just be the most important person in the world. Well, now here we are. I was right. This You-Know-Who virus sure showed us of Lord Voldemort proportions that if there is no cashier at the grocery store, you don’t get to eat. Well, unless there’s self-checkout. (That is so not the point!) Flash forward a few more years and my dad’s no longer here to tell me what he really thinks. I am in no way trying to paint him as a bad guy. He really did have his reasons for saying about cashiers what he did and probably I am the only one besides my mom who really gets it. All I’m saying is, when all is said and done, there’s nothing wrong with being a cashier at a grocery store.

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wyrd

I don’t know what to say except for life is hard. For as long as I am breathing and my eyes are open, there’s something to do, some business to take care of. I guess in the end that’s a good thing because you never want life to get boring. But it’s also an exhausting way to live. I don’t know if the way I choose to live my life is making it exhausting, I just know there are some days when I wish I can take one day, just one day, and figure everything out about my life for the rest of my life. I never do and I think I need to every once in a while check in with myself and take a whole day off and figure some things out if I can’t figure everything out. Maybe that’s what I need to do, but I never do it. It seems whether I like it or not, I’ve put my brain on some sort of survival mode. As if I’m programmed just to solve the problem right in front of me and not plan for anything. But that’s so not it either because I have several planners to help me shape my future. I think I just get too distracted too easily and then time runs out and I mess something up that messes up the plan.

EDIT:

I made those words before COVID-19 has forced as all to be hermits. Now that it has forced me as well, I think I may have gotten my wish. Isn’t life weird like that? And this time I mean weird, as in wyrd, as in fate. So I guess this means watch out! You don’t know what’s coming up next on this blog of mine. I may have some life-changing news to share soon. Or…you may still see my confusing self trying to make sense of it all. Either way, here’s hoping this time in isolation will help us all grow into decent human beings.