you can’t win

Sometimes it’s easier not to say anything. At least for me it is. I’m not the fastest thinker on my feet and I feel like if I say whatever comes first to my mind, I may say something offensive unintentionally. That opens a whole can of worms I don’t want to deal with in the moment. Actually, it’s more like a whole can of rattlesnakes sometimes depending on how deep my issues have been buried inside. I really don’t want to open that can, but my mouth sure does get me into trouble sometimes. Eeek! Por ejemplo, if I compliment someone on what they are wearing, I don’t want them to first of all, take it the wrong way, and second of all, feel self-conscious about what they are wearing for the rest of the day and start adjusting their clothes every few minutes or something until the day is over. Or if someone were to ask me advice on something especially if it is related to their love life, I wouldn’t want to say something that may come across as judgmental or end up possibly changing their life in a way they didn’t imagine or want. On the flip side, sometimes I worry if I don’t say anything, someone’s life may take a completely different turn for the worse that could have been prevented if I’d only said something. While I know nothing is ever completely my fault for saying or not saying something to someone, I struggle with all these thoughts before speaking. And then there are the times when I don’t want to say something for fear of what others are going to think about me. I know, I know, I shouldn’t care, but I feel like it’s only human for all of us to care, even if only a little. So what ends up happening is maybe there are times I really need to say something, but I get so wrapped up in all the “What ifs” that I say nothing. Sometimes that’s interpreted as I am dumb or have no opinion on something when in reality I could write a whole essay on that topic.


The Imagination Express

I’ve been hanging onto an alicorn’s wings. Maybe I’ll ask Peter Pan nicely to teach me how to fly and make besties with Wendy Darling and The Lost Boys. I wonder if he has an alicorn? I do know he has some mermaid friends and then there’s also Tiger Lily. Typical boy. I want to give Wendy some womanly advice, but I have a feeling she already knows. So maybe I’ll go have a chat with Smurfette and suddenly not feel so alone anymore. Mera will show me how she controls water and what it’s like to be married to Aquaman. Then I’ll be able to wash away all the Dementors attacking my mind. I’ll be able to focus on Ursula and finally tell her to go away with Expecto Patronum. No singing necessary. Once I hit the sand I’ll wave good-bye to the Loch Ness Monster. The pumpkin on the ground will turn into a carriage and my alicorn will chill with all the horses and we’ll bibbidi bobbidi boo our way home. I know Harry Potter’s got a hippogriff. I may need to try to hang onto one of those wings next time.


a piece of the puzzle

Never Been Done. Cheese or fish? Disgusting diction! But wait, what does that mean anyway? Unlike Samantha Jones (and I’m sure Alex Dupre too), who knows all and has seen it all, Never Been Done doesn’t really know. Doesn’t really because at least she’s well-read, but books don’t trump personal experience. Siddhartha knows a little something about that. Yellow skin in the restaurant, in the science lab, in the Teach For America, but not in the NFL, MLB, or NBA so Ronny Chieng jokes. That’s funny, eh? But really there is no such thing as race. It is something we made up as people. So perhaps where we see certain skin colors doesn’t really matter as much as getting to know each person individually. The moon man. Britney Spears has sung something about that guy. There’s also a Reese Witherspoon movie about that. Does he give first kisses? Hearts are red, but red also represents angry. Tough like a male robin. In the end, love is all that matters.


a hodgepodge epiphany

I can’t remember if I’ve ever been inside a Hobby Lobby before today, but I did go inside one today, possibly for the first time ever. Wow. Seriously, wow.

I never knew the extent of craft projects a person could work on. It’s not just yarn and fabric either. There’s baking and planners and Christmas decorations and Marvel art and signs for everything. Each section you are likely to find a book with ideas for designs or projects or recipes or whatever and it got me thinking. No matter what you are interested in, there are a million things to learn about it or try. If it’s baking, there are a million designs and recipes you can try. If it’s knitting, there are a million projects you can work on to create just the thing you need or just the perfect gift for a friend or family member. If it’s books, there are a million and one books to read. If it’s math, there are a million and one problems to solve. If it’s engineering, there are a million and one cars you could design. You get the idea.

Each person could spend their whole life reading all the books or baking all the recipes or designing all the cars or solving all the math problems and they still wouldn’t get through all of them. So should we spend our whole lives on one thing hoping somehow we get through all a million and one or should we try to spend part of our lives working on 250,000 of one thing, another part of lives working on 250,000 of another thing and so on until we get through a million and one of a hodgepodge of things?

For those who are decisive, pick one thing. For those who are indecisive, be a journalist. That’s my two cents.