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llegar tarde

Fear makes you late to your dentist appointment. You overthink every little thing you are going to say to the receptionist. Perfectionism is on your brain and you can’t snap out of it. Then the receptionist asks you how you are doing and you word vomit all over her so now you just have this pile of spitball slush that you can’t clean up because you don’t have a word mop for all the English papers that come flying out of your mouth.

After the appointment you have a second pile of spitball slush waiting to be fired out to your next target because you just learned something new. The question is, who is going to be your next target? You contemplate talking to Nala, but she’s been cranky for demanding an earlier feeding time since 6:00 a.m. when you crawled out of bed to attempt to not be late to your dentist appointment. Now that it’s 10:00 a.m. she’s not ready for your spitball slush – female feline needs to eat!

The text rolls in and already you’re overthinking your response to a ding you can only hear and not see. It’s almost your feeding time so you decide to grab lunch first and make it to your next Saturday appointment before having a picnic in your car to guarantee that this time you will be punctual. You get there early instead and perfectionism kicks into gear again. In six months you get to battle with fear again, only by then, you will have taken 500 naps to prepare for the moment you walk into the dentist’s office.

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Anxious much?

We are all doctors. I’m having anxiety over having anxiety. This diagnosis happened only because I was scrolling through Facebook and I found a list a Friend had shared over the symptoms of anxiety. I have every single one of them and then I became anxious reading over the list. Then I laughed at this silly exercise because maybe I don’t have anxiety at all and am only suffering under Med School Reading Anxiety. You read about a disease in a book and from the listed symptoms think you have that disease because you are exhibiting those symptoms. Does that make us all doctors if we can read? Yeah, I’m probably anxious. It’s making me antsy just thinking about possibly having anxiety vs. possibly suffering under Med School Reading Anxiety. Maybe I’m looking into this too much. Maybe I have something totally different. I don’t know what that is exactly, but I do have a vague idea. Only I don’t know what it’s called. Hypochondriac comes to mind. Don’t get me wrong though. That’s NOT the same thing as Med School Reading Anxiety. Now I think I’m just suffering under Verbosity. Oi. This is me having anxiety over having anxiety.

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No Yardstick

What a shock it is when you find out an actor wasn’t acting in a movie like he is in real. But it’s a good kind of shock because that means he’s a talented actor to be able to play a character so different from who he is as a person. This is especially true if he’s convincing on screen. Now I’m no movie expert, but I don’t see how there exists certain criteria you use to measure an actor’s greatness on screen. An actor’s greatness is measured by the number of viewers crying at the end. An actor’s greatness is measured by the number of empty popcorn tubs. An actor’s greatness can be discovered in viewers’ reactions. An actor’s greatness is seen through how many lives are touched. An actor’s greatness is reported by the media. But as I look over my definitions of an actor’s greatness I notice a couple using numbers, suggesting that an actor’s greatness can be measured like weight or height. Maybe it’s not so much the actor, but the quality of the movie in those cases that is actually measured. And maybe there’s the Oscars and ratings online and stars and all that jazz, but I really think an actor’s greatness is just a feeling, something you just know to be true. No numbers, no words. An actor’s greatness is simply felt.

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last words

I’m looking through a list of not so famous last words and am surprised to see “What duck?” on it. I’m trying to imagine what that line means exactly. Only I can’t because I keep coming up with nothing. This must be some duck if it contributed to someone’s last words. I’m imagining one that is a giant and wears a combat helmet and barks orders. That’s the first thing I think of, and it didn’t come to me right away. My second thought is a normal-sized duck that runs around and bites people. I just don’t know if one is vicious is enough to kill a human being. Plus that behavior reminds me more of a goose than a duck. Duck, duck, goose! Or maybe this duck is supposed to be a metaphor or something. Nah. That can’t be right. Whatever it is, this duck came as a surprise, messed up someone’s plans, thus ending their life. o.O It doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor either. I hope I never run into this duck…

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unicorn fabric

c240fb91e8e6ddabc4927d81edb74eaa

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/497507090079543950/

Why are unicorns so special? If you line up a bunch of them together, they start to look the same. Or they are so different you can’t tell anything unique from one unicorn to another that their idiosyncrasies become inscrutable. Thus, they start to look the same. I think anything depreciates in value once it starts to resemble everything else out there. Once you start to see the image of a unicorn everywhere, it doesn’t look that interesting anymore. It becomes too common, too familiar. Think of the very first motor vehicle. That could have been considered a unicorn at one point. But now cars are everywhere so they don’t feel so special anymore. (It still tickles me though that we measure using horsepower, so it’s like the car is the new horse and carriage at one point in time.) For that matter, any new invention is a unicorn at the outset. (Haha, I just referenced my blog here. xD)

I suppose the real appeal of a unicorn is it is imaginary. Images of them are all we have. So we continue to be fascinated by them, trying to imagine all different kinds in all different colors for all different occasions. It seems to me there is nothing else that represents originality and individuality in quite the same way as this one-horned horse. It has been around for a long time, a part of ancient history. That is actually funny now thinking about it because the unicorn has become this symbol of freedom, peace, and magic (at least to me it is) and it’s the only one of its kind. Doesn’t that make you laugh? xD (Or at least chuckle.) I’m sure P. T. Barnum would beg to differ, but I’m not worried about opening up that whole circus of worms. There’s no way for me to research this whole entire planet to prove my point, but I truly believe when you think of anything that stands out, you think of a unicorn.

Or maybe a unicorn is an idea, not even tangible at all (you know what I mean). Something hard to obtain, but once you come up with it, it’s like winning the Super Bowl. And that pivotal “Eureka!” moment equals The Unicorn. It is not easily defined, though easily to picture in the mind, so the unicorn has become that thing that is so close, yet so far, and in the end, maybe that’s what makes it so special.

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a short essay on the good girl/bad boy combo

Mothers of good girls will never understand why their daughters are attracted to bad boys. Mothers of bad boys will perpetually understand why their sons are attracted to good girls. The good girl/bad boy combo makes me think of Jess and Rory and Landon and Jamie. It didn’t quite work out between the first couple, but it worked out for the second couple. That’s because Landon changed. Jess didn’t. The bad boy must eventually turn good to keep a good girl. Lorelai never approved of Jess, but she let her daughter make her own mistakes. Luke, albeit not Jess’ mother, approved of Rory and even encouraged the relationship, believing she will be a good influence on his bad boy nephew. I’d say she was, considering he eventually became the one ex-flame who could set her straight whenever she strayed from her good girl path. When she dropped out of Yale, he came to visit her and call her out. When she lost her journalism gigs, he told her to write a book about something she’s passionate about.

Meanwhile you’ve got Jamie’s father who absolutely did not approve of Landon and Landon’s mother asking him to be careful with Jamie since she was the Reverend’s daughter. Because of who Jamie was, Landon changed and told his mother so when she found his little piece of paper that had a big dream on it to get into medical school. Landon changed so much he became the miracle Jamie wanted to witness and only then did the Reverend accept him for who he was. Clearly, opposites attract, but don’t last unless one of the opposites changes to be like the other opposite.