I try to check in with myself every now and then to see if I have successfully transformed into a girl. I know that sounds silly, but humor me for a second. I know by my phenotype I am a girl, but on the inside I think a lot like a guy. Thus, I make a lot of decisions based on how a typical guy would make them. So specifically, the basics such as hair, makeup, clothes, and all that jazz…yeah, I didn’t really care about any of all that stuff until now.
I guess you could say I have a little “more” time now than I did while I was in grade school or handling two jobs while going to more school. It’s more like I may not have time, but I’m making time for all the girly stuff I missed out on in grade school. I haven’t really figured out why the sudden interest, but it’s happening. The metamorphosis is real guys.
I’m looking for eye creams, watching YouTube tutorials on ways to do my hair and nails, going to clothing swaps, and finding fun ways to express myself verbally. I’m opening the window every day including during the winter to filter out some VOCs. Apparently we have volatile organic compounds floating around indoors and want to avoid that. I’m looking for sulfate-free shampoo, drinking water with lemon, and going for heatless hairstyles. I’m running 2-3 times a week for at least 20 minutes at a time. I’m trying to get back into ballet stretches and eventually ballet exercises like in my olden days.
Yep, it’s safe to say I’m officially a girl now.
So it’s a new year again, huh? Have I ever talked about how chick flicks are porn for women? This idea came to me from someone I used to know. He lives in Seattle now, and the story of how I almost became a pastor’s wife is for another time. Anyway, the reason why he would say chick flicks are porn for women is simply because of expectation vs. reality. You know, that video trend on YouTube where people compare, for example, what they expect to happen on a sick day vs. what actually happens on a sick day. Just like porn is an unrealistic expectation of what sex with a woman is really like for men, chick flicks is an unrealistic expectation of what a healthy relationship with a man is really like for women. I think what my Seattle friend was getting at is it is just as unhealthy for women to binge watch chick flicks as it is for men to binge watch porn. Men and women cannot live up to the expectations presented in these videos so it is unhealthy for both genders to keep filling their brains with certain ideal images when these desires will never be fulfilled.
I see his point, but I still think comparing chick flicks to porn is a little extreme. I don’t know why really, I just think this example is a bit too much. Plus I think nowadays you can learn valuable relationship lessons from chick flicks that you may not have been able to before, from the hopeless romantic ones. There are ones that teach you if you like someone, you have to go for it instead of waiting around for them to notice you. Some teach you that being there for someone when they really need you is all a relationship is. Still others teach you taking time to be single can be really good for you instead of relationship hopping.
I hope you guys enjoyed this unboxing video of the Lilly Pulitzer agenda. This is my first time making an unboxing video and it was kind of fun. I may make more in the future, but I don’t know yet. One thing I do know is I’ll figure out how to improve my sound as I know in some parts with the music playing it was hard to hear me speak. But really, I hope the prints speak for themselves!
Also, sidenote: I found a duplicate video out there and I’m really upset some channel out there stole my work! I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet…just feel Grrr!!! at the moment. 😦
Be grateful for clean air in America. Be grateful for a visible blue sky in America. Be grateful for the freedom to be whoever you want to be in America.
My friend Merj, who is known as Dr. Merjjena B. Hemp to the world, is working on a YouTube project called Complicated Conversations Post 9/11 and her latest concentration is our veterans here in the U.S. She is launching Jump 4 the Vets, a fundraiser in support of those who have done so much for our country and need a little extra help to ask for help. She will be skydiving in as many states as she can to do something bold, courageous, and unstoppable for our veterans who were once bold, courageous, and unstoppable.
Oh, and one more thing. You can find me about 4.5 minutes in talking about how you can help. Be sure to check out the link at the very end of the video description:
I wanted to share with you guys my second author reading ever. It was at Orr Street Studios in downtown Columbia, MO and it was on February 17, 2015. It was part of their Hearing Voices Seeing Visions event and I remember we had a huge snowstorm right before. I sold a couple of books that night and one guy from the audience came up to me and gave me a hug after. I was so nervous I could barely look at the audience. (I was also a bit emotional as this was right before I moved to Kansas City, MO and I was cleaning out my apartment and all that jazz that comes with saying good-bye to friends.) I read from my debut YA novel, “Oil in the Wok” and my Seventeen short story, “Team Bonding.” This is not the whole reading and you’ll probably need to turn the volume up to hear it, but it’s a taste of what my first baby sounds like.
It’s been a minute since I last made a YouTube video, but I didn’t want to leave out my third and last BTR review from my first set. I’m not sure if I’m going to make this into a tradition of some sort and keep making BTR videos or I’m just going to review books as I read them. We shall see. But as usual, I stuck to my crazy writer talking self and just let my raw ramble loose.
I am in a video! Someone else’s this time and it’s a trailer. Well, good because I bet you guys are sick of me attempting to make videos that sound coherent and have music and all that jazz. I think I will continue my attempts because I gave my word, but for now, you might recognize the person behind this trailer as Dr. Merjjena B. Hemp. If you watch closely you will see me awkwardly trying to wish her luck on her launch.
Since this video she has launched her Complicated Conversations videos on topics dealing with our lives in the post-9/11 era. But first, can we talk about how she decided to launch this series?! Skydiving from 13,000 feet!! Props to her for coming up with not only a creative way to launch, but a daredevil way to go! Seriously.
Check out Merj’s channel for more on what people were doing during 9/11, how education plays a role on how we are to view the world, gun control issues, and more fun flying/gliding videos. We all need to have more adventure in our spirits like Merj.
Last December I closed out 2014 with a retreat. Not a defeat in that sense of the word, but a silence and solitude retreat with members of the church I was a part of. (It feels so strange to me to use the word “was” because everything’s changed so quickly and this wasn’t that long ago. I was a part of that church for about six years.) In my next video I documented a small portion of my experience, shared with my good friend Leslie and roommate for the weekend of December 5-7, 2014 in Rocheport, MO.
As part of my video experiment, I have been trying to add audio without overriding the original audio. I don’t think I have figured that out yet, but I did manage to add music at the introduction and take it out when the speaking part comes in. In my previous videos I struggled with having music run simultaneously with me talking about a book, but I know other YouTubers have successfully made videos with talking and music at the same time, so I have hope that I will figure it out one day!
This was my very first retreat experience and I had a basic idea of what it was going to be like, but I was not prepared for how changed I was going to be coming out of it. I could probably write a few pages about this, maybe even a novella, but the whole reason why I needed to go on this retreat was a desire to grow closer to God. Well, it was more like, everything else in my life seemed like a mess to me and I needed to do something to fix this mess. Little did I know, I had been struggling to fix relationships with people my way that God was telling me I had forgotten about Him. I had not realized that I had not put any energy into repairing and building my relationship with Christ. And the only way to allow Him to help me was to be still. Spend time alone with Him. Block out the noise. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (NIV)
So here it is…here is my journey…
Some of you may already be familiar with steampunk. That’s awesome! I recently finished reading my first novel set in a steampunk world. I really enjoyed myself with this adventure story about a 16-year-old professional thief. I made a video of my thoughts and like I promised, I’m going to update you all on my progress at making videos. Not that long ago I figured out how to add music to my videos. This one I was able to add music that I felt gave off a steampunkish vibe. The only problem is, it ended up being a little bit louder than me talking, so I apologize if it’s a little hard to hear me. 😦 If you have trouble hearing, I did leave a link in the video to my written book review. See for yourself:
p. 192 – “‘No. I like Tommy. It’s not that. It’s scary when it’s real. When it’s not just thinking about a person, but, like, having a real live person in front of you, with like, expectations. And wants.’ I finally look at Peter, and I’m surprised by how hard he’s paying attention; his eyes are intent and focused on me like he’s actually interested in what I’m saying. ‘Even when I liked a boy so much, loved him even, I would always rather be with my sisters, because that’s where I belong.'”
This is just one of the many passages that I liked in the book. Jenny Han knows the good girl well. She has captured the fear of relationships precisely here. I’d like to venture and say that despite the fact that Lara Jean is in her teens, some people struggle with this well into adulthood.
Well, without further ado, here is what I thought of her book: