I remember getting a B on that English paper back in 12th grade, a satire, something about dead skin cells, and it was my suggestion. “Ew!” my friend said. It was her immediate reaction. I didn’t know how to tell her that I see past all the “ewness” and I love it. I deal with stuff that’s not so pretty all the time. It’s a gift. Dealing with stuff that’s not so pretty is a beautiful thing and sometimes it feels like I’m one of the few people who understands this. Plus satires are meant to have gross things in them to use for exaggeration purposes and dead skin cells seemed like the perfect touch. I even kind of remember my English teacher commenting on the paper that she liked it. But who knows. My brain could be making up that memory just because it seems like that memory would make sense. I bet some Psych major out there knows exactly what this is called. But I’m no Psych major. I’m just the girl who can not flinch when people talk about dead skin cells.
I can’t help but think that because of all the new discoveries that get reported on a daily basis, on any given day on any given moment I am doing something wrong, living my life wrong. It’s like some hypochondriac paranoia, if such a thing actually exists. Like we’re not supposed to shower every day. Or how your cat can pass a disease to you so you shouldn’t put your face so close to it. Or how about the one about how you shouldn’t eat chicken breasts with veins in them. o.O For better or worse, the choices we make define us. It just seems nowadays it’s getting harder and harder to know how to make the right choices. Because of this there are some days I really just want to throw my hands up in the air and let these new discoveries win. If I think too much on them, I’ll paralyze my day and not move forward in anything. It’s like that time in seventh grade science class when we had to pair up and try to draw something on a piece of paper by looking through a mirror at the reflection of the piece of paper. I was doing fine until my pen felt like it hit a wall and all of a sudden I couldn’t move it further back and I was scribbling back and forth until the lines all scribbled together and the picture didn’t look like anything.